Drama and babysitting

I'm adjusting rather well to my new routines.  A little computer time--news, blog, solitaire, shopping while eating a breakfast and drinking coffee. Then off to my first project--today it is building a cat scratcher for Ewok.  Poor evil Ewok---born to be a hunter and killer and instead trying to be a socially acceptable family member.  But he's smart and will get it.  The cat scratcher is to be super sturdy as he has torn apart several of the commercially available ones---and he weighs less than 4 pounds.  Ferals in a shelter are not always the easiest to tame.

Then it's time for a little lunch and off to paint with maybe a run for cat food.

I am not watching kids for 4 days.  I like spending time with grandkids, its how we get to know each other.  I did not have a close relationship with my grandmother, she was a ways off and not really wanting to watch grandkids--she had already spent too much time watching kids.  Sometimes I completely understand her position on that.

But babysitting, if not routine, is not horrible.

Horrible is family drama.

I live alone and love that.  I don't have to argue with a spouse or have to waste time trying to not upset other family members.  I don't have to listen to people drone on that never want to listen to anyone else.  I can talk to myself without being asked if I'm crazy or senile.  I can not talk for days, potentially, with know one asking me if I'm angry or depressed.

The holidays tend to interfere with my insulation from family drama. The phone calls increase with the need to vent. and inevitably someone will translate an "I hear you" to "I totally agree with you" and make sure everyone else thinks I have taken a side on the latest petty argument.

I had plenty of drama in my life.  I try to keep most of it out anymore and generally do a decent job.  When I need to rant and rave, I've found a nice, quiet corner of the internet to do so.  But I made drama pretty easily in my twenties.  It seems to have slowly faded---sort of like hormones.  A part of me thinks that those pesky male and female hormones cause way more drama than they have any right too.

Of course, its probably not just chemical.  We have roles.  Gender roles.  Family roles.  Societal expectations of how a woman acts and how a man acts, and those create havoc with most of us, because we are not just roles.  No one wants to just act out the part of their life that fits society's current role for them.  It leaves all those other parts of our selves starving for attention. Roles limit us, and while we have no problem pointing out how our significant other is failing to meet the expectations of their role, none of us really want to hear about the parts of the roles that we are ignoring.

So, my family holiday is now over.  We had it early due to work schedules and in-law schedules and a million compromises and much drama.

I got some great gifts.

I had a wonderful time.

I love my family soooo much.

Thanks god for 4 days to myself.